The night before last was horrible, I barely slept at all, the pain was so bad. I was starting off on my back and having to struggle to sit to turn onto one side (I can't just turn while still lying), then back up to lie again on my back, sitting up to turn to the other side and so on, all night. I woke up feeling zombie like and found an old complaint had also resurfaced, my knee was in agony; I have been told by physio's that it's a related nerve thing. Last night was only marginally better.
I have a doctor appointment on Monday as I really want to nip this in the bud. I may be stranded again in a chair for the most part (I am able to walk about a bit but it takes me a while to straighten myself up, Andy says I look like a clockwork doll when I'm easing myself up), but I cannot let this go any further. But, I do have books and new DVD's and new music too which is all a real sanity saviour.
So it seems that I start 2013 the way I started 2012. And looking back, what have I learnt from this year?
- That I have an unshakable optimistic streak. It may not be a terrible thing really, but it does cause me to slip up from time to time and the more optimistic I am, the further I fall when things go wrong.
- That I am not in school anymore and I can choose when and how to distance myself from people who act negatively toward me.
- That I can still, after all these years, be too trusting. There are still wolves in sheep's clothing out there.
For 2013 -
- I shall try not to have my cup overflowing with heady optimism when someone who knows more than me tells me the chances of something positive happening are slim to none. I shan't cling for dear life to something miraculous emerging from the situation.
- I will walk away from the negativity of others, especially those who say, "Oh look, she thinks I'm getting at her" right after a nasty, biting remark.
- I shall try my utmost to keep my guard up just a little longer, just to make sure.
- I shall simplify my life. Decluttering, culling clothes and and organising is key.
- I shall keep my home at least fifteen minutes away from being how I want others to see it .. which may be some feat considering my poor back. Things can go from lovely and tidy to, "How did that happen????" in about one second when faced with a husband and a bunny.
- I shall cull then expand my wardrobe by sewing. My hare like sewing will be curbed by back pain so I shall have no choice but to sew like a tortoise, see, every cloud does have a silver lining!
But for now I have to away as the sofa looks as though a laundry monster threw up on it and Bob has been 'reading' a newspaper quite thoroughly, so I have lots of things to do today as our friend is visiting with his kiddies tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to that.